I Am Free!

This morning we had chapel (like a mini church service during the week!), but rather than a speaker coming to give a message after a short worship session, the school's singing group played worship the entire period. It was great, to say the least! Though sermons are always a great way for God to speak to His people, I also appreciate worship. It's such a personal way to encounter God. I've heard a few students complain that they only come to chapel for the message (and because it's required), because worship just isn't their thing. That breaks my heart. Though I don't always 'get' something out of worship, it's usually very special.

Today as we sang songs, I was reminded of the church I went to before moving for school. My mom started taking my siblings and I to Elevation when I was about thirteen years-old. It all started with "two families, and a dog named Carson," and grew and grew and grew! It's still only been six years since they began, but they've come a long way! I continue to miss the people from my church, even though I didn't always like going.

Being thirteen is rough. I remember sitting in church at Elevation (which was then held in a movie theater), and thinking about how boring it was, and how I never understood what was going on. As I grew older, I wandered further and further from God, though I hadn't been very close to Him to begin with. My life was just that: MY life. And no one, especially some far-off deity, could tell me how to live it. At the same time, my heart was breaking. I knew I was far from God, and even though I supposedly 'didn't care,' it bothered me. As I sinned, I cursed God for making me feel guilty about it.

It may seem as if I'm simply rambling, but there really is a point here. This morning as I worshiped my God, wholeheartedly, I remembered when I would stand in church every week as a teenager, sobbing. As I walked away from God, my heart cried out to Him. I would stand in a crowd of people, so very broken, and at the time I didn't even know why I was crying. This happened for months. After two years of blatantly disobeying God, I realized what my heart was saying. I missed Him. Though I'd never truly known God, I still missed Him. The depths of my soul hungered to know Him; to know what it was like to be free from the bondage of sin.

Today, God reminded me of who I am. My heart, my soul, and my body belong to Christ Jesus! Tears filled my eyes as I worshiped God with pure joy. Through Him alone I am free. I no longer need to mourn for what could have been, because I can rejoice for what IS! I am free to run, free to dance, and free to live for HIM!