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| My husband and I on our wedding day. |
I'm not sure exactly what has motivated me to do this, but I have chosen to write a blog about relationship advice. This advice isn’t necessarily about what to do or how to
become the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife. If that is what you
are looking for, look elsewhere because I am not there. Instead, this is a list
of thoughts I have cultivated through trials in my relationships. They can
apply to romantic relationships, but I think it’s just some important stuff to
know when traversing life.
1. Learning to listen is more
important than finding a way to be heard. It’s surprising how easy it is to
become enamored with being listened to. When
you find a very good friend or a significant other who is willing to listen, it
can be all too easy to keep on talking, but the gift of listening is worth
cultivating. Listening will also get you a lot farther than talking.
2. You should be motivated to be your
best self, but not to be someone else. This one might seem a bit obvious, but
I’ve seen many people jump the most ridiculous hoops to please others, and I’ve
done it too. It isn’t healthy to change yourself to please another person or to
pretend you aren’t you. God created you with a unique personality and He wants
to cultivate that. My husband was the first person with whom I felt comfortable
to be my crazy, silly self around, and God used him to help me figure out who I
really am.
3. Things are not going to be like
they are in the movies, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be horribly boring; it'll just be different. Just like every person is unique, every relationship
is also unique. Chances are, though, you aren’t going to meet in the summer of
1940 and argue a lot and kiss in the rain like in The Notebook. It won’t be
carbon copy, but it will be yours. There will be highs and lows and I hope you
find a way to love every second of it.
4. It is okay if you fight, but when
you do fight, choose your battles wisely. When my husband and I first met, I
was afraid to begin a relationship because I was horrified at the idea of
anything bad ever happening. Luckily, that phase didn’t last too long;
otherwise we might never have gotten together. Most of the things that we get
upset over aren’t that important in the long run. Don’t pick fights just to try
to win. Don’t let things fester just to really rub it in. Don’t try to get
even. Try to understand what the other person is feeling and try to honestly
convey how you’re feeling.
5. Your relationship is not the most
important thing in the world; God is. I rest assured that if anything were to
happen to my husband, I would always still have God. My marriage will not last
beyond death. My God will. Of course, I love my husband and am devoted to
loving him as best I can, but God is my priority. The same goes for my
friendships. I adore the friends I have and would never want to see those
relationships dissolve, but God is the Eternal One. He is the One in Whom my
soul finds rest.
