If there's one thing I've learned from working with kids, it's this: you absolutely cannot judge a child based upon their behavior. First of all, children are in a constant state of growth and change, always learning and testing boundaries. None of those things are bad, though it might often push the buttons of some of us stubborn adults. Secondly, children act out for all sorts of reasons, and just as God has been patient with all His children, so should we be patient with the children we come across. Third, if the child is not yours, you have no idea what they are going through in life. I might even argue that parents don't always know exactly what emotions underlie the actions of their children. Point is, don't judge a child until you have walked a mile [or two] in their shoes.
On my first day at my current job, I met a girl of about eleven or twelve who sure knows how to play the diva. She is often disrespectful and can be such a handful. I feared her the moment I met her. Honestly, her personality is just so different from mine, and it threw me off quite a bit. She is an outgoing little girl and I am shy and reserved. I don't like to be tested by kids like this. It is always my temptation to ignore her and be grateful when she is picked up early!
Lately, I have seen deeper into her heart. A few times in the last week or two she has clung to me a bit and been very polite. Today, though, I saw her sob and it broke my heart. One of the teachers is honestly passionate about kids, but doesn't quite have the depth of heart necessary to really love them and care for them. Something he said to tease the girl today set her off, and rather than getting angry and sassy as I might have expected, she was truly hurting. I tried to suggest that she talk to him about it, but she was so hurt that she couldn't fathom speaking to him.
Another time, during the hustle and bustle of getting kids in and sitting them down, another girl [who, by the way, is quite a hassle most of the time] stopped me as I was rushing by. She wanted to show me her dress, standing there in all her God-given glory, chestnut brown hair falling around her face. So there she stood, asking me if I liked her dress, only barely daring to turn just a bit, back and forth, waiting for my deliberation. I could see the desire burning in her eyes, the longing to be seen. The most automatic response would be "Uh-huh, sure. Nice." and walking away. I was in a hurry to do something [I don't even remember what it was, now], and usually that would have taken priority. For some reason, though, I stopped instead.
"It's lovely!" I said. Her eyes gleamed, a little gap-toothed smile breaking through. She then continued to tell me about her hair, that it had been braided back but had fallen out during the day. "I'm sure it was lovely," I told her. "It was," she said, and the joy was unmistakable. In that moment, she was exactly who she was created to be: a beautiful little girl, infinitely loved -- not by me, but by the One who created her!
There's an unmistakable contrast between the two stories. One child felt shamed and hated while the other felt loved and assured in her identity. Also contrasted is the treatment of the children. One teacher chose to use words that hurt and destroy while I chose to use words that would encourage and bring life. Both girls seem to struggle with their identity and needed to be loved. Only one had her needs met.
When we interact with children, we often forget that they are people. We do this with adults as well, but I think that with kids it's more a temptation. They are easier to trample and ignore. This is a dangerous way to treat the next generation. It is selfish and stupid. If we tell the leaders of tomorrow that they're no good, our world will only fall further. If we tell them they are worth loving, and that they are infinitely loved by the God who created them [even just through our actions], we may just stand a chance.
On my first day at my current job, I met a girl of about eleven or twelve who sure knows how to play the diva. She is often disrespectful and can be such a handful. I feared her the moment I met her. Honestly, her personality is just so different from mine, and it threw me off quite a bit. She is an outgoing little girl and I am shy and reserved. I don't like to be tested by kids like this. It is always my temptation to ignore her and be grateful when she is picked up early!
Lately, I have seen deeper into her heart. A few times in the last week or two she has clung to me a bit and been very polite. Today, though, I saw her sob and it broke my heart. One of the teachers is honestly passionate about kids, but doesn't quite have the depth of heart necessary to really love them and care for them. Something he said to tease the girl today set her off, and rather than getting angry and sassy as I might have expected, she was truly hurting. I tried to suggest that she talk to him about it, but she was so hurt that she couldn't fathom speaking to him.
Another time, during the hustle and bustle of getting kids in and sitting them down, another girl [who, by the way, is quite a hassle most of the time] stopped me as I was rushing by. She wanted to show me her dress, standing there in all her God-given glory, chestnut brown hair falling around her face. So there she stood, asking me if I liked her dress, only barely daring to turn just a bit, back and forth, waiting for my deliberation. I could see the desire burning in her eyes, the longing to be seen. The most automatic response would be "Uh-huh, sure. Nice." and walking away. I was in a hurry to do something [I don't even remember what it was, now], and usually that would have taken priority. For some reason, though, I stopped instead.
"It's lovely!" I said. Her eyes gleamed, a little gap-toothed smile breaking through. She then continued to tell me about her hair, that it had been braided back but had fallen out during the day. "I'm sure it was lovely," I told her. "It was," she said, and the joy was unmistakable. In that moment, she was exactly who she was created to be: a beautiful little girl, infinitely loved -- not by me, but by the One who created her!
There's an unmistakable contrast between the two stories. One child felt shamed and hated while the other felt loved and assured in her identity. Also contrasted is the treatment of the children. One teacher chose to use words that hurt and destroy while I chose to use words that would encourage and bring life. Both girls seem to struggle with their identity and needed to be loved. Only one had her needs met.
When we interact with children, we often forget that they are people. We do this with adults as well, but I think that with kids it's more a temptation. They are easier to trample and ignore. This is a dangerous way to treat the next generation. It is selfish and stupid. If we tell the leaders of tomorrow that they're no good, our world will only fall further. If we tell them they are worth loving, and that they are infinitely loved by the God who created them [even just through our actions], we may just stand a chance.
