Community

As Americans we're extremely individualistic, and I myself have always resolved to rely upon no one else. In fact, if I began to lean on anyone, even for just emotional support, I felt guilty. I had this mindset that I was betraying God if I trusted anyone else, and that He would feel abandoned because I wasn't putting 100% of my trust in Him; 10% was in Suzie, and 5% was in Timmy, and that only left 85% for Jesus. When I did the math, those percentages added up to sin. I decided to isolate myself completely, and refused to let anyone in. This, of course, had consequences on every relationship I had, and especially on the one I had with God.

God can speak to us through sources that we'd never imagined. Heck. God talked to Balaam through his donkey. As a fairly new Christian, I had no knowledge about God or about the way I was supposed to relate to Him (or to other people). Without the support of other Christians who I had blocked off from my heart, I was suffering. Though I tried to convince myself that I didn't need them, my heart knew better. I spent a year after becoming a Christian without any true support because I was constantly pushing others away. I began attending Boise Bible College with the mindset that I wouldn't have any close friends. I thought that was how life should be.

Within the first few weeks, one of my professors gave us a lesson about community. He read from Genesis:

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called ‘woman,’

for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Though these verses speak about a man and a woman, he applied the concept to the idea of community in general. The words, "it is not good for man to be alone," echoed through to my concrete heart. The idea of being emotionally naked, hearts stripped bare, was frightening to me. It was also freeing. Once again the Gospel of Jesus has set me free!

God has given me the best community a person could ever ask for. I am so grateful for the people around me. This semester God seems to be really drilling in the idea of community. He has proposed opportunities for me to become closer to people and my heart aches sweetly when I think of the wonderful experiences I've had thus far. I hope that I can continue to become closer to those around me, in order to love them the way God has loved me. Praise Him for His faithfulness: 19 years of wandering in the desert, and at last I am home!

Jehovah Jireh!

These two words are equivalent to hope, in its purest form, and I can say that our God is indeed a God Who provides. Through the pain and the struggle of trusting Him to provide for my deficits, He has been faithful. I've doubted and my frustration has clearly shown in the way I approach my relationship with God. Because of the fear that He wouldn't provide, I tended to avoid Him at times, and it's been difficult to keep from filling with anger.

But the great thing about our God is that He keeps no record of wrongs. I was hurting, and cried out to Him, and He heard me. In the same respect, He never ceases to humble me. I came to Him on bended knee and He showed me love and peace. After a few days of constant prayer, God provided! My best friend's parents have asked to bless me with a little money each month to pay for the remainder of my school bill this semester. If not for the fact that God had completely humbled me just days before, I would have said no. But He set my pride aside and gave me exactly what I needed: not money, but faith.

I would like to praise God and thank my friend's family, who has always shown me more love than I deserved. I hope to be able to bless you someday as you have blessed me. Also, thank you to those who have been praying for me and who have been such great emotional support. I love you all!

JEHOVAH JIREH!