In the fall I moved to a new city in a new state to attend Bible college with people I didn't know. The transition was easier than you might think, but things are starting to become tense. See, when I left my parent's house I quit both my jobs and simply left, hoping that I could trust God to provide a new one soon. But my faith is waning.
It feels as if the job market here is so completely impossible. It's coming down to pure desperation, with twelve days until my next payment is due for school, and I don't know what to do. There isn't enough money in the bank, and my heart is being torn apart by the stress. Esther, the little girl I sponsor in Rwanda, Africa, is counting on me to provide for her. The school is expecting me to make the payment I promised to make. My parents trust me to be wise and independent, and as an adult, to provide for myself. How could I let them down?
There are so many wonderful things I'm learning here, and so many wonderful people providing a kind of support that was foreign to me before moving here. This is my life now. And it seems to be crumbling. Each time the thought comes to mind, tears fill my eyes and worry fills my heart. I can't listen to anyone or provide any consolation for their problems or share in their joys. I can't focus on my homework or stay calm long enough to pray. Destruction reigns.
Lord, so many people here are looking for jobs. We all need You to provide, to swoop in and save the day. We placed our trust in Your hands yet we sit here empty and waiting. Protect us from the snares of the enemy who desires to belittle our faith and crush our dreams. Be with us all and please provide, God. Oh, please provide.
