Two years ago, my life was forever changed. It feels so strange to think how different things were not-so long ago.
A couple of days ago I woke up with this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. Part of it was due to the fact that the TobyMac song, Me Without You, had been stuck in my head all night long. The song talks about what life would be like if God had never come into the artist's life. I heard it on the radio the day before, and the idea stuck with me. With August right around the corner, I can't help but think about it -- what if I'd never come to know Jesus that late summer's day?
Two years ago, I was wandering through the valley of the shadow of death. At the time, there were only five people on the plant who actually knew anything about my life (and they didn't even know much). I was terrified at the thought of telling anyone else. I sat, hopeless, at the edge of a web of lies, wishing I could only jump off the edge and into God's grace. Then it had seemed as if Satan would hold me there forever. But now I stand as a forgiven woman.
And if God hadn't touched my life then, I'd be doing just as the song says: my life would be all about me. I'd listen to my own voice (or worse, to Satan's voice), rather than to God's. Even the lightest breeze would blow me away, sending me further and further from God's hands. It's hard enough to believe that there was ever a time when I didn't know God. I was such a different person then, and now, only two years later, I'm still in the beginning stages. Our love story has only just begun, and He has only just started to change my heart. Two years ago, I was cold, angry, selfish, and uncaring. I still tend to be all of those things, from time to time, but God has melted my heart.
It's true, what the song says: He rescued me, and remade me; now I am His and He is mine! Though I was once so far, the upbeat tempo of this song reminds me of the joy that I have in Christ! Though the world seems bleak and broken, He is with me. Though the pressure to do everything right weighs down on my shoulders, He frees me. Though the past still sometimes haunts me, He reminds me: I am His. My life has been changed by God's love and mercy. Oh, what a beautiful day this is, only because of Him! It still feels strange to think that I was ever without Him; that there was ever a time in which I did not know Him as intimately as I do now. But you know what the best part is? This is only the beginning.
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