Ministry is hard.

I've learned something about ministry these last couple weeks: it's hard.


I'm doing an internship with my church in children's ministry this summer, and it's so much more difficult than I'd imagined. I figured I'd spend all week daydreaming about fun crafts and games, and then on Sundays I'd spend all morning hanging out with kids and watching their wonderful little eyes light up as they hear the Gospel. Instead, I'm sitting in my bedroom, typing up lists, calling people, and planning like crazy. Now you're probably thinking that I'm ridiculous, because those things are beyond easy. I will admit that I quite enjoy lists and planning. Calling, however, I do not.



The most difficult part of this ministry internship is, for me, having to actually talk to people. I know that sounds lame, but I'm so naturally introverted. When I'm told to give someone a call, I think, 'Sure, easy as pie,' but when the moment comes to actually call them, my heart begins racing and my palms sweat.... And I thought to myself for a moment, 'This isn't what I was looking forward to when I signed up for ministry,' but it's occurred to me that there ARE things in ministry, or in any job, that we aren't going to like and that won't be easy for us to accomplish. And we still have to do them, not to accomplish anything for ourselves, but for God.


For a short while, I've been so disappointed with my minuscule ministry experience, because I honestly thought it'd be more on the fun and games side than the phone calls and planning side. However, God is growing me in ways that I didn't expect and that I don't yet understand. 


I'm so glad that He knows us better than we know ourselves, and that He fulfills needs we don't even know we have yet! He is so faithful, even when we don't realize that our hearts are walking away. Thank God that He was pulling me back, even as I rebelled against my duties, and that He forgave me even as I thought myself justified.


Well, gotta go make some phone calls!